Subterranean Homesick Alien

Summer madness...

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 04:47:19 GMT

Suddenly a huge urge to clean everything that doesn't move hit me. I've been scrubbing everything in sight....and the cats are pissed about it. lol

I've discovered that I still get massive evil hangovers over the slightest amount of alcohol. I have become a lightweight. Oh well, I spend less money and get a smaller waistline, how bad can that be.

BWAHAHAHAHHAA!!! Awesome.

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 08:12:49 GMT

illusia76's LJ stalker is voldtaengler!

voldtaengler is stalking you because they heard you are awesome in bed, and they want to find out. They are also stalking the rest of your friends list!

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

For a friend...

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 22:12:42 GMT

I have a friend that is going through alot of shit right now.

My hands are very much tied because I can't help him in any way. In fact he will barely talk to me or anyone...judging from comments I have seen from his friends.

It bothers me because I care so much about him. Granted, I have never met him in person but, we have shared many many hours together on the computer and I feel like he was a big part of my life that just vanished into thin air.

I miss him and my heart hurts because I know he's in such pain and confusion.

I just want to be able to make it all better for him because he deserves nothing less than absolute bliss. Where ever and with whomever he finds it.

I'm thinking of you, hun...all the hope in my heart is for you to find what it is you need to be happy again.

ummm....wOOt?

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 00:41:28 GMT

Congratulations! You have an understanding of the
goth culture!

A True Goth Quiz (now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

it's 4am...do you know where your booty call is?

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 06:24:36 GMT

THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as the Agreement) is entered into on the _____ day of __________, 2004,
by _______________, between _____________ and ___________. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over--unless it is very good and we need to
repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for
dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM--we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit--only mind-blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions--Ex.: Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance--that is why you are called the "back-up," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time, advanced-arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted--money is always good.
8. No baby talk--however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers--it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges"--we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK--don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing--I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex--it's over, so get your ass up and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it--I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "my friends',friend.''
17. Doggie style preferred--just hit it hard and right or get the hell out.
18. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. I don't want to look at you, just fuck you.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME--so don't keep calling.
*** EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS***
The aforementioned rules may be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of This agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list, BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating partners: Signature: __________________ Date

Couldn't even get a job at Burger King....

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 13:35:06 GMT

George W. Bush Resume

Past work experience:

.Ran for congress and lost.
.Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
.Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
.Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
.With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments:
.Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
.Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.
.Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
.Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
.Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as president:
.Attacked and took over two countries.
.Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
.Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
.Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
.Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
.First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
.First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
.First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
.After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
.Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
.In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
.Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
.Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
.Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
.Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
.Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
.Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
.Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
.Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
.Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)
.Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
.My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
.Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Chevron oil tanker named after her).
.First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
.Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
.First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
.Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
.Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
.First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
.First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
.Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
.Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
.Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
.Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
.First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
.All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
.My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
.Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
.First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
.First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
.First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
.Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
.With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
.First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
.First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
.Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
.Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
.Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
.Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
.In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
.Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
.In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
.Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References:
.At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
.AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
.Refused to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
.All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
.All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
.All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
.Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
.For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

Okay, that's it!

Thu, 17 Jun 2004 04:03:39 GMT

I'm spent.

I can't keep wishing for some kind of love in my life. There was a time when I could snap my fingers and have someone begging to date me, now it seems like I have some sort of plaugue.

I meet someone who seems cool and we start to get along quite well and then they either become a moron or stop contacting me for various lame reasons.

I feel like I'm defective.

I'm just going to do what I used to and throw myself into my job. At least there I get some satisfaction and recognition.

This is "Searching For Mr. Right Sarah" signing off...to be replaced by...."Fuck You Sarah."

Thu, 17 Jun 2004 00:22:01 GMT

http://www.bushflash.com/year.html

http://www.ericblumrich.com/sp.html

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 13:21:25 GMT

You are Prius, Keeper of the Watch. You're
stubborn, self-centered, hot-tempered and prone
to depression. However you are fiercely loyal
and love without compare. You are an assassin,
a prankster, and a creative spirit who loves
nothing better than flying--and hugging. Your
sex drive is pretty wild, too.

What Daemon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'll agree with everything but the self centered remark. :D

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 13:17:33 GMT

You're Nny! You're psychotic and kind of evil, but
somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck
finding it.

What Johnny the Homicidal Maniac character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Psychotic...check. Kind of evil...check. Emotion??? SHHHHHH!!!

sigh

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 05:41:08 GMT

I'm not in the best of moods today. I feel so stagnant. Work is moving slowly. My love life is a joke. I'm broke off my ass.

I try to stay positive most of the time but I just feel like everything around me is falling apart.

As soon as I think I see some light at the end of the tunnel, it goes out.

I mean, I'm 28 years old. You would think I would be somewhere by now, You would think I would have some stability in life. I really have nothing.

I feel like I am nothing right now and that pisses me off.

I feel like I just need to get away from here and start over again but, that's all I ever do. The second I start feeling like this I move to a new area and while it satisfies me for awhile, it never is a true cure.

I don't know what I'm going to do right now. Maybe I"ll feel stupid and retract everything I say in the morning. Maybe I"ll feel worse.

I just want to feel something.

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 05:35:37 GMT

Heart of Gold

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Not only am I the HEAD MASTER..............

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 17:38:51 GMT

You Are 100% Skilled at Going Down On a Girl

Chances are your tongue is so tired now that you can't even talk

Not only do you rock at oral - you do it a lot

Your girlfriend is the happiest girl on the planet. No, really.

And, you Mr. (Ms.???) Pussy, are the most sought after lover in your town

How Well Do You Go Down On Girls?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

I AM THE CLIT MASTER!!! I AM A GOD DAMNED CLIT COMMANDO!!!

April....are you seeing this?? lol

Even in quizes where I think "goth" isn't going to be an answer!!!

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 17:26:37 GMT

Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK]
	You are a Goth!
Oh Woe is you! Your LJ is full of angsty poetry and every breath is PAINFUL for you. Remember, when you are playing with razor blades, it's down, not across! Make it count! (kidding!)
More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Mon, 31 May 2004 06:35:15 GMT

Fuck it.

Sun, 30 May 2004 14:42:58 GMT

Plastic Goth

What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Grrrr.

Sun, 30 May 2004 01:19:27 GMT

I still haven't heard from Johnny while is making me quite pissy.

Insecure the Wondergirl rides again. :|

Sat, 29 May 2004 17:15:10 GMT

LiveJournal
Trading Cards
Free Account Edition

	illusia User Number: 2546992 Date Created:2004-03-17 Number of Posts: 38
Bitchy, morose, random girl with leanings toward the unlikely and impossible.
Strengths: Generous. Funny. Can touch her tongue to her nose.
Weaknesses: Generous. Insecure. Can't touch her tongue to her eyebrows.
Special Skills: Platform Boot Professional. Master of Nibble-Fu...the ancient art of Gerbil Style. Able to swallow a 12 inch kielbasa.
Weapons: 12 inch keilbasa, super eyeliner of doom, NSYNC cd.
Sidekick:: Your Mom. (Yes, she can do the keilbasa thing too.)

Make your own LiveJournal Trading Card!
Brought to you by crossfire_

Meh.

Sat, 29 May 2004 04:08:52 GMT

Today was spent cleaning like a crazed....crazy person. I think I scrubbed everything within an inch of its life including the animals. I reek of orange cleaner and bleach....yum.

I havent' talked to Johnny all day which sucks. I wish I was not the kind of insecure person that worries if I don't hear from the person I'm dating. But, due to past problems I always have a little voice in my head saying "he doesn't like you anymore." It really does get annoying that I can't always sit back and be confident. Maybe someday.

I'm still not smoking..shock of shocks. But,I have taken up eating as on olympic sport. I've went back to being pretty much a full time dietary vegan, with a occasional exception. (I was a veggie-nazi before. Everything...and I do mean EVERYTHING had to be animal free. I would love to do that again but money and to be honest...my job keep me from going back full time..I mean....I work at a steakhouse..hello? lol) Anyway, a vegan diet kicks ass for maintaining or losing weight...not to mention the environmental and social perks that come with it.

ANyway..life is slowly chugging along. Woopdegodamndeedo. ;)

The line forms to the right...

Sat, 29 May 2004 00:45:43 GMT

You Are 100% Skilled @ Blowjobs!

Woo Hoo! You are 100% skilled when it comes to sucking dick. Who could have thought that one person could possibly suck and blow at the same time.

You have got it going on in the tongue tango department.

Your lover is the luckiest man alive.

You know how to handle Mr Happy in every way unimaginable.

In your eyes, the penis is your friend.

You enjoy giving oral sex, and it is without a doubt enjoyed!

How Does Your Blow Job Rate?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

I AM THE HEAD MASTER!! WHENEVER YOU THINK OF HEAD I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS FUCKING FACE!!!!

Now why the fuck would they say that?? Motherfucking assholes!

Tue, 25 May 2004 09:02:10 GMT

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

ILLUSIA CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS

From Go-Quiz.com

again I say I may be....

Mon, 24 May 2004 14:43:05 GMT

Which 1990's Subculture Do You Belong To?

[Another Quiz by Kris
@ couplandesque.net]

Yay for new colors...

Sat, 22 May 2004 05:27:04 GMT

I finally got on my lazy ass and changed my lj around. Go me.

Quick update for those who care to know...

8 days of non-smoking under my belt. wOOt!!

I haven't talked to Johnny yet because his internet is down but...he did call me and left me a really sweet message while I was at work. *swoon*

Still having kitty withdrawls. That will take awhile to go away.

And for some odd ass reason I have hovered in the middle of the top ten on hotgoth for about a week now. Must be one of the signs of the apocolypse or something.

Hugs for my homies. ;D

Sooo.....

Fri, 21 May 2004 06:54:19 GMT

I *think* I"m getting my nipples pierced on Monday. Truth be told I am scared shitless. I can handle the many needles going slightly under my skin during a tattoo....but a large metal rod pummling through my tender flesh freaks me out. I"ll probably chicken out and get another tat. lol

I got to talk to Johnny for about 3.2 minutes today. He came on right as I was getting ready to leave for work. I guess I got spoiled in the beginning when we could talk for hours and he was able to come out here twice in one week.

Oh well...absence makes the heart grow fonder and the dildo batteries wear out. lol

I miss my kittys. I feel so horrible thinking that they are sitting in cages right now. I feel like they are sitting there wondering what they did wrong to be sent away. If I only had my own place I never would have given them away but, my parents laid down the law. Of course they had to endure me calling them heartless cat haters for a few hours. I called the shelter today to make sure they were adjusting okay and talked to the director. She said they were still adjusting and that she had made sure they got plenty of playtime with the other volunteers. I may be able to go volunteer there myself soon if my work schedule permits.

But, honestly I don't know if could until they are adopted. It would hurt too much to see them there and not be able to bring them back home.

You know, I hate stereotyping but, with all these quizzes I think I may be goth. heh

Thu, 20 May 2004 07:33:06 GMT

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz.